Marriage isn’t for everyone. A friend told me recently that he wants his life “to be a frustration of capitalism,” and he believes that marriage is foundation of that capitalism. So he and his long-time partner aren’t going to get married, despite all of the legal and economic benefits.

The great thing about marriage equality is that you get to choose whether you want to get married, rather than the government deciding for you. Just because we may all soon have the right, doesn’t mean we have to or should. 

Along those lines, I wanted to highlight some reasons same-sex couples aren’t getting married. 

This post was inspired by a New York Times article, discussing why some same-sex couples choose not the get married, despite now having the right.

It offers a fresh perspective not often heard in the current push for marriage equality. It cites a Pew Research poll that shows “60 percent of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender adults are married or said they wanted to marry, compared with 76 percent of the general public.” 

The Arguments:

Some of the reasons given against marrying include:

• Marriage is an outdated institution that forces same-sex couples into the mainstream
• Marriage just leads to divorce
• It’s against their beliefs, religious or otherwise
• Marriage imposes financial burdens and legal entitlements

Of course, that last reason made me smile. That section mentions the marriage penalty, access to health care, and parental rights. One woman claims that she doesn’t see any tangible financial benefits in marrying.

I love hearing the different arguments. It goes to show that we, as humans, have diverse attitudes and beliefs and shouldn’t feel pigeonholed into having one set of views.

I still think we can all agree, these interviewees included, that everyone should have the right to marry. The essential function of that right, however, is being able to choose whether you want to.